Showing posts with label Blackwells Books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blackwells Books. Show all posts

Monday, July 28, 2008

News from the publishing world this week



There are several interesting stories circulating around the publishing world at the moment, not least of all that concerning the Amazon versus Hachette Livre dispute. The Times reports that the dispute is showing no signs of diminishing, and looks likely to drag on til at least Christmas, if not longer.

None of this is really news at all, since we all saw this happening a long time ago. It started with the abolition of the net book price agreement in 1995, and has got steadily worse since. Those within the industry warned at the time that this would bring nothing but disaster, so I am told (this was long before I began to write), but as per usual, no one listened.

The Times reports that back in the 1980's, a man with a background in the grocery business told a group of publishers: “In the trade I come from, if the retailer says, ‘Jump’, the supplier asks, ‘How high?’,” and the audience looked at him as if he were talking rubbish. Twenty years later, they know exactly what he meant.

Publishers admit that they should never have allowed discounts to get so high, but hindsight is a wonderful thing. The fact is that when an order from a retailer makes the difference between hitting and not hitting targets, and the consequences of rejecting that order is to see the business go elsewhere, then it is very hard to so no, even on such unfavourable terms.

This situation is not confined to publishing, as we see it throughout the retail trade - especially with the supermarkets and the shameful way in which they treat their suppliers - some of whom are forced to sell at a loss. Still, it is heartening to see such support from authors, across the board, it is in our interests really though, as the lower discounts become, the more money there is to pay us with.

It is as usual all about market forces - and what consumers are prepared to pay. It is the same old story, that the public want good quality goods and good service, but are not prepared to pay for it. I see this in my own job on an almost daily basis; it is why my company were forced to equalise shop and Internet prices earlier this month. The result of this has been that there is now so little profit on certain items, that it is hardly worth selling them at all without at least 2 add ons.

It is we are told business, and nothing personal. Tell that though to the members of staff at branches such as mine, who are being forced to close because they are no longer viable. Tell that to the children and dependents of those who work there. The Times states that any negotiator wants to screw out of the market as much as the market can take, but the fact that this happens does not mean that it is morally or ethically right, as everyone has the right to earn a living and maintain a certain lifestyle, where at least their basic needs are met (and beer and cigarettes are not basic needs). Book selling, in fact, publishing in general, makes very little money - Waterstones made a profit, so The Times says, last year, of 2.9 percent, while Hachette’s profit margin was 11.2 per cent. Are they then in a position to negotiate and dictate terms? Maybe not. I do know though that if we do not stop this slide, in retail in general, and not just publishing, then we will be hearing more about Amazon in the months to come, and it will not be long until they drive us all out of business.

Against this backdrop, it is somewhat depressing to read that Amazon has almost doubled its net profits over the last three months (ending June 2008) to $158 million. Sales of books, CDs and DVDs rose 31 percent, while electronics and general merchandise sales were up by 58 percent. City analysts report that the company are benefitting from high fuel prices, since consumers have less money for shopping trips and prefer instead to shop from home. Those consumers should try living here in good old blighty, where our petrol costs almost twice what theirs does!

On a happier note, it seems that the Espresso printing machines, which I mentioned on here some time ago, are finally set to arrive in the British Isles, being rolled out to larger Blackwells stores in the autumn. The machines - nicknamed the ATM for books, are capable of printing and binding books, while customers wait, in a matter of minutes, with a choice of over 1 million titles, many of which are rare or otherwise out of print.

The Espresso Book Machine’s backers claim that it combines the virtually unlimited choice of the Internet with the packaging of a conventional book, which has the potential to make the most obscure of titles easy to buy.

Many readers, especially students, and remember that Blackwells is the leading academic chain, complain that book stores are top heavy with piles of heavily hyped best sellers and celebrity dross from the big publishers, while the independent and small presses,including self publishers do not get a look in. This then will help to equalise things as never before, and can only be a good thing, for both authors and book buyers alike.

The machines, which are 9 feet long and 5 feet high (as I am also- high that is!), allow customers to type in any title that they want, and after seven minutes out pops the book, neatly trimmed and bound, for the same price as the equivalent book off the shelves.

The finished product is like any conventional paperback, although critics say that the illustrations are poor quality, and the books have a rubbery feel. As time goes on, I am sure these problems will be ironed out, and I am also sure that customers will be more than happy with the speed and convenience that these machines afford.

Other chains are less circumspect, stating that they will wait to see how the technology develops and improves, and how popular it proves to be with Blackwells customers.

Good news indeed, and one to watch. I for one will eagerly anticipate the arrival of the first machines, and if I find one near me, will willingly pay for a copy of my own work just to see how it does work, and what these books are like. I will report back on what I find.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Positives and Negatives


I had been planning to write a little more about Amazon tonight, as I see from the Bookseller, that Angela Hoy of Booklooker in the United States, has now lodged a complaint against them in the US courts. Her website goes into much more detail than I could regarding the ins and outs and the whys and wherefores. It is not much that has not been said many times before, and I wish her well in her endeavours. I think it may be a while before this is over yet.

Several things have happened for me in the last few days - mostly concerning the imminent release of the new Indiana Jones film - Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. My book, Genesis of Man began life as a thesis on crystal skulls, and Coran and I are still guardians of around 20 of these wonderful objects, which we work with from time to time, perhaps not as consciously as we might. A lot of the skull material has since been taken out, but I kept it carefully filed away for future reference, and I am glad that I did, as it has enabled me to begin using this new film as a springboard to increase both interest in and sales of my own book.

I got the ball rolling by sending an email out to everyone on my own mailing list. One of these is a man called Cris, whom I met around six years at a conference on the Knights Templar. Cris and I got talking and exchanged contact details, and have been in touch by email ever since. He is an interesting man, as he happens to be a personal friend of the late Anna Mitchell Hedges, who was of course the adopted daughter of real life Indiana Jones, FA Mitchell Hedges, and the discover and guardian until her death in 2007, of the Mitchell Hedges crystal skull. Cris has bought a copy of my book, which Coran posted me for today, and has hinted that he may be willing to put a link on the Mitchell Hedges site to my own website. He also informs me that the skull is due to visit the UK in June, and has promised to send me the details as soon as the dates are announced.

I have experienced the skull many times during meditation, but it would be truly wonderful to have the chance to see this fantastic object in the flesh, and also of course, to meet up with Cris again after all these years.

Out of this came a new crystal skull section on my website, followed by an amendment to the email to those on my mailing list, and the circulation of said email to every Waterstones in the country. This was rapidly followed by the posting of some press releases on various free PR sites, and this morning an email to all Blackwells stores.

A copy of the email was sent to both Richard and Paul, and Richard has replied to say that he loves what I have written, and will try and see if the journalist who picked up the news feed on the Shakespeare book that Richard had such success with, is interested enough to get in touch, and if I am lucky, and God is willing, take this to the next level.

The emails seem to have having some success, since on Sunday night when I sent them around, Gardners had 36 copies in stock, and tonight, 2 days later, they have 28. This means that 8 copies have gone out in the last 2 days, which is more than I have had for a while. It will be interesting to see over the weekend, once they arrive in store, which branches of Waterstones I can now add to my list of stockists.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Standing Still


A funny thing seems to have happened this weekend - it is almost as if time has stood still, yet at the same time, I have been aware of it moving very quickly as well. When I had my reading with Diana Summer a few weeks ago, she said that once I began to let go I would find that I seemed to have more time for a lot of things, and was no longer running around like a headless chicken. It seems that she was right.

It seems in many ways, to have a even busier weekend than normal. It began on Friday with a trip to the gym and then the supermarket. I find I am getting very fit and strong these days, and I love the way my body looks - I am developing arm muscles that I never had before, and my shoulders have a nice defined look at them. This is no doubt helped by my job - lifting and carrying objects, which in some cases, are almost as big as I am. When I first joined the gym at the beginning of last year, I could not use the treadmills for more than a few minutes without holding on to the rail to steady myself, and I struggled to lift more than 7 kilos. Now I can walk or cycle comfortably for half an hour if not more, at up to 6 kms an hour and comfortably lift more than twice as much. I will perhaps never be a runner, but have always been a walker, preferring a steady pace, and I enjoy the satisfaction of continually pushing myself to reach a goal.

Friday continued with a few calls to book shops and other outlets - Watkins Books in London, and the Head Office of Blackwells, the academic book seller. In the case of Watkins they requested the obligatory free copy, which I told them I would not send since the first one was ignored - I will however send an email instead. With Blackwells, whom I was trying to contact with a view to them stocking my book, I got the obligatory answerphone masquerading as the Buying Team. I will wait and see if they call me back on Monday (by which time I will be back at work anyway), but won't hold my breath, as I have been there and done that. If I don't hear then I expect I will bite the bullet and send them a copy anyway, having spoken to Richard first. Their stores would be a good outlet for my work, especially since it seems to be going down so well now with the students at Arizona State University in America.

This was followed by a lazy afternoon lounging around the viewpoint, sitting in the sun, drinking tea and reading A New Earth. I am almost halfway through the book now - after 2 weeks and it has certainly made a big difference to my life. I still find myself slipping back into the old egocentric ways, but at least now I am much more aware of when I do that, and can see what lies underneath it rather than becoming embroiled and believing that the voice in the head is who I am.

I suppose that is what I love about Lundy - the ability it gives me to completely disengage from the mind chatter and get out of my mind completely - trust me on this - it's the only place to be!

Yesterday the day began with Coran and I visiting the Village Hall for an event that was being put on by the Hall Committee - the Village Fun Day. This was a chance to network with various people from around the Hill, gathering news and gossip for the forthcoming edition of the village newsletter that I edit. The copy deadline is looming once again! I got home and wrote up the various stories that I have been working on - issues around Council Tax banding, a sponsored walk in aid of the Royal Marsden Hospital, and Prince William and Harry's recent visit to Headley Court, amongst other things. I also wrote a piece about the Fun Day itself, with a list of the regular events that take place in the Hall.

Then it was lunch time, followed by a trip into town to get a skirt for work - it is becoming too hot now for trousers, and I thought that if I flash some leg, it might help me to sell a few more things to the younger male customers!
The evening was a busy one as well, with phone calls to be made once again for the village newsletter - to the Secretary for the Roads Association, the Secretary for the Residents Association on our mobile home park, and then to the District Councillor to see if she could help with some legal information regarding the Council Tax banding situation. She couldn't, so I emailed a company called Park Home Legal Services instead, whom I found via the Internet. I will be seeing the District Councillor at the Neighbourhood Council meeting tomorrow anyway, so we can bring each other up to date on various things then.

It was funny though, because Coran and I both thought that Casualty, one of the few television programmes that I still like to watch, was on at 8.45pm, and I ended up stuck on the phone sorting out these various issues until 9.15pm. I switched the TV on anyway to catch what I thought would be the end, only to find that I had got the time wrong and it started at 9.20pm after all ! Isn't the universe wonderful when you let go of expectations and begin to go with the flow !

So, today promises to be yet another sweltering day - and another busy one. Coran and I are off to the gym in a moment before it gets too hot, we will then no doubt stop at the viewpoint to catch the breeze and some more sun, before coming home to cook lunch and do the laundry for next week - the whites are whizzing round as I speak. After that I have to go and interview my subject for this months centrespread and take some more photographs to accompany the text, and then well, we will see what happens.

What a busy weekend then it has been - five weeks and 6 days to go to Lundy and counting ... Not that I am wishing my life away you understand.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

If it ain't one thing its another ...



I really have had an absolute gut full today, having faced it seems one setback after another, and really do once again wonder whether this is seriously worthwhile. The problems have been exacerbated by the fact that I have had very little sleep and am just dog tired and really do feel fit to drop. Coran had a bad migraine last night and so neither of us have had much sleep at all, as we had to call the Doctor out at 1am, and then sit up waiting for them to call us back for over an hour until 2.15 am. When they finally did, they told him to take some paracetamol and just let things take their course, which is not what we you want to hear when you are in pain, both physical and emotional, in the midst of a panic attack, and suffering from severe sleep deprivation.

This may sound selfish, but it is not what I needed at all, since now I am working four days a week, and have 71 books to shift from home, I need to utilise every single moment of my days off in order to sell these things, and cannot afford to take days off and take my eye off the ball for even a moment. The universe at the moment does not seem to want to help me at all, as I seem to be continually coming up against all sorts of problems and blocks that hinder my progress. It is almost as if having come so far, I can go no further and seem to be continually coming up against a series of brick walls, which seem to be obstacles in my path. I am just so tired though of this continual battle for acceptance and to get anywhere, and when one repeatedly comes up against this stuff and is given conflicting advice by people who actually work for a certain chain store, well, it just breaks my heart to once again feel that I am getting absolutely nowhere and letting everyone down - including myself. I really do not know what I can do to get past this, and wish I could just wake up on 22nd December 2012 and find it was all over and done with.

First thing this morning, after I had had a strong cup of tea to wake myself up, I started to ring back all those Borders that I spoke to last weekend. I should have realised I was wasting my time when every single one of them told me that the person I needed to speak to was not available and could I call back later on as they were on late shifts.

Undeterred, I rang Blackwells in Aberdeen, as the first of their stores whom I also emailed over the weekend. As it happens, their Manager was a lot more helpful, as she explained to me that although the book did have potential, it would not in her opinion sell without either endorsement from one of the University Professors or as part of a campaign via the buying team. I had to agree with her, as what she had to say made a lot of sense. I just cannot afford though to send books to every Professor in the country, and as she expalined, they would expect that I do. She understood this though and so gave me the name and email address of Katharine Fry, their Trade Buyer, whom I have emailed. I await her reply with interest and bated breath.

I then telephoned Paul and gave him the news, and he in turn gave me the address for the new and soon to be launched X-Books site which he is working on with Derek Reece, Richards business partner at Authors OnLine Ltd. This exciting project, which was discussed at the Authors OnLine 10th anniversary celebration at St Neots in October, is like an X-factor for books, run over the Internet rather than on television, the difference being that the judges are not celebrities, but members of the public.

Authors will download their work to the site for free, and members of the public will then pay £1.50 a time to vote for their favourite work and add comments in the form of a kind of review, thus proving that there is a market for this work. The winner will win a contract with Authors OnLine, whereby a run of 5000 books will be printed (it will not then be print on demand) for distribution in the normal way both online and through book stores. Those who have posted to the website will also be able to buy copies of the books direct at 40 percent discount, the same terms that the stores themselves get.

Derek, whom I also spoke to this morning, chose the £1.50 figure after it came to his attention that more people paid this amount to vote on the X-factor than actually turned up to vote at the last General Election! The site seems to be getting some heavyweight support from what both Derek and Paul have told me - with The Times and The Guardian endorsing it, as well as Writers News (it is set to be featured in the April edition, due out any day now). Jonathon Clifford of course thinks it is a waste of time, but only time will tell. As far as I am concerned, any publicity for Authors OnLine Ltd is also publicity for me, as the more people that go to their site, the greater their profile becomes and the more potential there is that people will find and hopefully buy my book.

After that the photographer from the local paper called round to take some photographs of me looking suitable mournful by a big pile of books. After he had gone I rang the reporter whom I have been dealing with and who is writing the piece, to let him know and confirm the details re the competition I have decided to run. I am offering a free copy to the first reader to contact me and £2 off a copy with free postage to everyone else. After that I had some lunch and went to sleep.

I woke up around 2.45 pm and set to work ringing all those Borders back, and it was then that the problems really began .... They all back tracked on what I had previously been told - namely, that they only order books by local authors and everything else has to go through Head Office. Their Head Office though will not stock books by unknown authors without a sales history, and you cannot get a sales history if they refuse to stock your books .... This is what I mean about hitting a brick wall ...

After this happening with around half a dozen stores, in desperation I rang their Head Office and somehow or other got through to the Buying department, a minor miracle in itself given that they normally only deal with authors and publisher via email and snail mail. Again I was told conflicting things - that books are ordered for the most part centrally, but that authors can contact stores direct and talk to them if they wish (Books Etc stores are often more open to this, as like Ottakars they are traditionally more used to dealing with authors). Stores can make decisions at local level re stock, but the orders have to be passed to Head Office for them to actually carry out. They were able to tell me that 3 stores have stock - Kingston, Lakeside and Llantrissant in Wales, but Kingston are the only store to have sold copies - a total of 9 of them, since I happen to know that they ordered 20 for my talk there in January 2007.

The Bookseller in the meantime, I noticed today, have an article regarding both Waterstones and Borders which states that Paul Smiddy, an 'influential' market analyst from HSBC believes that Waterstones are better placed to capitalise from a loss in market share by Borders, especially once their centralised warehouse starts to be rolled out towards the end of May.

According to the article, the report states that the current retail supply chain is "more akin to the 19th century than the 21st". I think I, and most other self publishers and small presses would agree with that! Smiddy believes that the Waterstones distribution centre, due to go live later this year, could lead to other parties trying to simplify their own supply chains. He told The Bookseller: "Waterstones is in the vanguard of what could be a change that impacts the whole retail industry." Change that in my opinion is long overdue and can only be a good thing.

From my experiences at trying to get my book into both of these chains, these 2 companies could not be more different in their attitudes towards authors. Waterstones are a delight to work with, with Managers who are not only willing to talk, but also listen and take the trouble to explain things to you, and also perhaps more importantly, don't fob you off, but tell you the truth. They have clear buying policies which are easy to understand and work with, and even have an independent author advisor, who like their Managers, for the most part at least, is very approachable and listens to the needs of independent authors and publishers, helping them to get into the stores and giving support where needed.

Borders on the other hand are a nightmare - the buying team do not talk to people at all, but all business is done by mail. There is no information on the website re buying policies, meaning that you are forced to either guess as to what the polices are or deal with answerphones. They do they told me though, plan to publish guidelines on their website soon. The stores themselves give conflicting advice - some are happy to talk and will order copies, but the majority do not have a clue and simply refer you back to Head Office, insisting that everything has to go through them. The left hand then does not know what the right is doing - I have had staff blatantly lie to me, telling me that they are buyers and managers when in reality they are just weekend staff and students with part time jobs who don't have a clue. My point is though, that if you cannot talk to a person on the phone in the Buying Department, how can you build up a relationship with the company - this is not communication, but wanting things all their own way to the detriment of those that provide them with jobs and a livelihood in the first place.

As I said before, it is catch 22 - they will not stock your book centrally without some healthy sales figures, but you cannot get these if the stores will not talk to you and act like human beings. I have given up even trying now then and will concentrate on those who are willing to talk and do not insist on ridiculous discounts either. It's about time in my opinion that they realised that without authors like me there would be no books for them to sell in the first place, and they would all be out of a job ! What a way to run a book shop !

It seems a pity to me that they don't take a leaf out of Waterstones book, or some of the independents, like the Big Green Bookshop which is due to open this Saturday at 11am. I wish I could be there to cheer them on, but it would be the one Saturday that I have to work, so it will have to wait for another time.

The shop will stock 8,000 titles, which will include a multicultural section to reflect Wood Green's diverse population. The children's section will be age-ranged between pre-school, primary and secondary. They also plan to focus on science fiction, which was it seems a very popular genre at the old Waterstone's branch that Tim and Simon, their new managers used to manage together.

For the moment though, dinner is calling, and I have written quite a tome, so it is time to sign off and find the nearest brick wall to bang my head against ....

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Fair Trade for Authors !



I think when something like a large amount of book returns happens to an author, it is like any other type of grieving process - you go through many different stages before reaching acceptance - the angry stage - how could this have happened, what could I have done to prevent this, the let down stage - I have let myself and everyone else down etc, before one finally gets to the stage where one just surrenders to what has happened and tries to see it in a positive light instead.

Over lunch today, Coran and I watched an episode of Babylon Five, an extraordinary science fiction television series written and created by J Michael Straczynski - the episode we watched was entitled 'Whatever Happened to Mr Garibaldi'. There is a scene in that episode where one character Delenn, is watching a film of her lost lover whom she is pining for. It is a long story that will be familiar to fans of this series. I won't go into full details here, as it would take too long.

She blames herself for his disappearance, as it is her actions that led him to take risks. In the footage of him speaking that she is shown, he states "this is the hardest thing we've ever done, and frankly, it scares the hell out of me. But it has to be done. The job is to turn this around and make it into something positive. My dad always told me, that's the only way to deal with pain. You don't surrender, and you don't fight it. You turn it into something positive". This is what I now intend to do.

Yesterday then, I sent an email out to all those on my mailing list, and have had some wonderful responses and messages of support. One lady has offered to put the book on her new online shop and try and sell some copies at her local flea market; another chap in Australia has put me in touch with one of his writing pals whom this also happened to, and whom I am waiting to hear from. It was so lovely to hear from Malcolm, whom I hadn't heard from in over a year. His wife died just over a year ago, and we shared some quite personal correspondence and got to know each other very well for 2 people who live on opposite sides of the world. It was lovely then to hear from him after all this time. Good things then can come from adversity.

Yesterday though was a busy day. I spent an hour or so on the phone in the morning ringing various branches of Borders, and managed to get at least some interest. Bournemouth are definitely ordering one copy, which is a start, and the rest asked me to email them with further information. Will keep an eye on the number that Gardners have in stock over the next day or so and see what happens. I am sure I will the first to know when they need more copies, and have got some quotes from DHL in case!

If the number in stock does not drop, I will ring those stores again next week, when I get my day off and catch up with them again to see what the interest is.

Later on in the afternoon I went through the list of contact details for Blackwells stores - an academic book chain based on university campuses, sending them a copy of that review from The Self Publishing Magazine that I had last year which said that the book was ideal as a companion for students of social sciences. Will keep an eye on what happens there as well, as this might be something that could open quite a few doors and lead to interesting opportunities all round.

It even looks like the local paper might write a piece and help me to shift some copies - they will ring me at work tomorrow, all being well, to discuss things further. I am then beginning to think that those books being sent back might turn out to be one of the best things that could have happened.

In the shower this morning like one does, I had the inspiration to write an article entitled Fair Trade for Authors. This seems topical at the moment, as we are in the midst of fair trade fortnight. I did some research of my own on the web and came across an article entitled Fair Trade Books which was posted on a site entitled Times Emit last October. Interesting reading it makes too.

The author, Peter Collingridge, makes the point that being green seems high on the agenda at the moment within the book industry, with moves towards firm sale and the use of recycled, or as least sustainable paper. There is though, to the best of his knowledge, only one carbon neutral publisher, Alasdair Sawday.

Each year, thousands upon thousands of unsold and returned books go to landfill sites and end up being pulped. Most of these are mint copies, which have never been opened, much less read, and this to my mind is little short of criminal. His colleague, James cited a Times Higher Education Supplement piece which calculated that what with production and transport, the average paperback eats its way through 4.5kWh of energy on its journey to the reader. This is equivalent to an extra 100,000 cars on our roads.

The answer lies partly in digitisation in the form of e-books, but this is not the only option, as print on demand also has a role to play. E-books are all well and good for educational text books and the like, but will never totally replace traditional paper copies. Nothing is like the look and feel of a real paper book, and e-books cannot come close to the experience of browsing in a library or book store. Enter then print on demand, as the obvious solution to this problem.

Both Peter and James make the point that book sellers use the returns system to facilitate their pile ‘em high, sell ‘em cheap attitude to literature. Returns are bad for the environment, and poisonous to literature, as they eat into publishers profits, meaning there is less money going into the system with which to not only pay their own staff, but also the authors. Let's not forget that without us to actually write the books, there would be no publishing industry in the first place.

Writing has never been one of the more lucrative professions, but authors have never been so badly paid, or so exploited, with most of the money going to the select few, who are either very well known or married to someone else who is! It is time then to consider the practise of Fair Trade Books (as opposed to Fat Cat Books), where authors are paid a fair price, publishers print using organic, sustainable, and ethically produced paper and ink, using local printers rather than overseas conglomerates, and where book sellers stop demanding huge discounts and sale or return, helping to promote local authors. Peter is not joking when he writes this, and neither am I, it is not a joking matter.

There has been a revolution going on in the publishing industry which began 10 years ago when Anthony Rowe first brought print on demand to the British Isles in partnership with Gardners. It started as a very gentle whisper, but has become a shout which refuses to go away and can only get louder. If publishers wonder why so many are choosing to self publish, they should take a look at the shameful way in which authors are treated - not as human beings, with feelings and lives and families to support, but as disposable commodities and cash cows to be taken advantage of and milked.

I plan then to expand on this article over the next couple of days, and see what transpires. I have already started the ball rolling by opening up a discussion on self publishing on a book lovers site (for those who read rather than write books) and it is making a few waves, and hopefully will begin to change attitudes towards those who write the books - this is the way to go, for if you can reach the readers and change their attitudes then it seems to me that anything is possible.

As they also say in Babylon Five "if you're falling off a cliff, you may as well try and fly. You've got nothing to lose." This girl has found her wings, and is getting ready to take that jump - to step into the abyss with eyes firmly open, and see what happens.