Wednesday, April 09, 2008

The universe responds in kind

When the working week began, following my reading with Diana Summer on Friday, I was determined to change my mindset and stop seeing my job as a problem that was preventing me from fulfilling my true vocation. I went to work on Monday determined that my attitude would be different and have been surprised at how things have changed. It is remarkable how quickly the universe can respond when you give it the opportunity.

Now I know that the job is designed as a challenge, I have been responding very differently, and allowing myself to become much more the observer. I have been very mindful of my thoughts and actions this week, and found myself noticing the fact that I am not thinking about the book hardly at all. It occurs to me though that the fact that I have noticed that I am not thinking about the book means that I am! Now that's a philosophical question ... Coran assures me though that this is just a part of re-training my mind to think and feel differently, and I believe that as usual, he is right.

I have also become aware that the sooner I work through this challenge the sooner I will be able to leave this job. The observer in me has noticed that there are lots of reasons why it would be in my interests to do so, and I know that when the time is right the universe will respond by presenting me with an opportunity that fulfils all my needs. I also know that my needs and my wants are not necessarily the same thing, and so the next job may be even more of a challenge.

My tenth house is the area in my birth chart astrologically speaking, where most of my planets are located, and this is also the house that governs work and career. It should then come as no surprise that this has been where most of the challenges I have faced in life have come from. The universe does though occasionally give some respite, and I get the feeling that my next job will be much easier all round. What will be though will be.

There was a temporary blip last night when I made the mistake of going to the Bookseller website and read their debate regarding Amazon's attempt to undermine publishers ability to discount their own books. There were some comments made in response to some of my comments that left me reeling and I felt the anger and frustration rising to the surface once again. I allowed this to surface, knowing that it is necessary to work through this, and went to bed still feeling angry and frustrated. I woke up the same way and was almost ashamed and guilty to see that I arrived at work with this still on my mind, having been unable to let go, and even found myself discussing book stuff with my colleagues again.

As soon as I noticed this though I made efforts to change my mind set, and concentrate on my work, and I am pleased to say that the customers obliged by coming in to the shop and giving me some healthy sales. The day ended with us having taken a little over £3000, which is not the best day, but certainly not the worst.

Despite Diana's instructions not to go anything relating to my book, it has been very difficult not to do things relating to publishing. One has to after all remain up to date, and when calls and emails come in, they have to be answered. Most of these though have not been directly connected to my own book, but more to do with publishing in general. I guess then it is okay to deal with these and carry on following what goes on in the publishing world, as long as I do not start to email and call book stores and other suppliers and worry constantly about the number of books that may or may not be selling. This I feel is the key, and this is what Diana really meant when she said that I needed to step back. I must say that the sense of relief is wonderful, and it feels like a ten tonne weight has been lifted from my shoulders. The right one has been rather stiff and painful today, as has my right wrist, but these tensions have to be worked out like anything else, and things often get worse before they get better. This is good though, as pain is just fear leaving the body.

I will not then be booking a ticket for the London Book Fair, the deadline for which is tomorrow, and I will not be using one of my last precious days holiday on attending this event. I will instead, weather permitting go for a long walk with my beloved and get some fresh air and exercise.

Tomorrow then is my last day of work for this week and then I have five days off. My next holiday after that will be to my beloved Lundy on June 21st - that will be a birthday to remember.

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