It has been a week now since Ed called, and still it seems I am waiting for something, anything to happen. I watch my mind at work sometimes, and can almost laugh at the stupidity of it all. The mind does its best to tick away with all the 'it's not fair', 'I can't stand this job', 'I wish they would hurry up and shut this store down!' (there have been plenty of the last two of late), but none of it is real, and none of it really matters.
I won't deny that this job has been challenging in lots of different ways, but still I recognise that I did choose to be here (quite literally, as within two days of being offered it, I was also offered and turned down, interviews at least for two other jobs). Somewhere, on some level, it was as if I knew that I had to see this through. The logical part of me was screaming on my first day that this was not right, that I would not be happy here, that I was not interested in what we sell, but I knew that I had to see it through, and so I have, regardless of the challenges and the tests, and there have been lots of them - the late lunches, the heavy lifting (some of the larger items are almost as big as I am), the constant noise bombardment, being the only female (living with Coran, I am not used to being around 'typical' males).
I get round the noise bit by shutting myself in the ladies loo at regular intervals, and by sitting in silence at lunch time, I get round the lack of interest by trying to learn, and I get round the lifting bit with hot baths and massages. As for the masculine bit, I have discovered that you cannot judge a book by its cover, as my Manager, who looks every bit the stereotypical male, with his deep voice, big muscles and bald head, is actually a pussy cat in disguise. I don't think he realises this himself, but he is actually a very sensitive and deeply spiritual man. It is the fact that he does not know this that makes him so spiritual, and also his many years of management.
You cannot be a Manager in retail after all, without knowing a thing or two about human nature, and what makes people tick. If I am honest, I do not care much for what I see of the nature of our typical customer - especially the young ones, who seem more concerned with how things look and how much they cost than whether or not they actually work and do a good job. My Manager said the same thing, when we were talking last week.
Reading some more of Eckhart Tolle's wonderful book 'A New Earth', he says that "unhappiness or negativity is a disease on our planet. What pollution is on the outer level is negativity on the inner level". When I watch my mind and observe the unconscious behaviour of others, I know that he is right. It is a disease indeed, and the biggest threat facing our planet. The problems we face are spiritual, not political, for if we could really look inside and consciously examine our thoughts and our motivations, then we would see the madness that we are living in that is created by our minds, and we would bring ourselves into the present moment, making conscious efforts to change. This would be the new Genesis of Man.
All the problems that we face, famine, war, intolerance, etc, etc, are all caused by what we perceive as lack, and if you go deeper still, then you realise that ultimately the solution lies not in filling the void with unnecessary stuff, and not in worrying our lives away about what we should have and do not have, but in accepting the situation that we have and fully embracing the now. Now is after all the only moment that we have. The past is over so cannot affect us, the future is yet to happen, so the only moment is now, we should strive to grasp that moment and live life to the full, as that one moment goes on forever into infinity.
When Jesus said that those who followed him would be reborn to eternal life, this is what he meant, that if his teachings were followed and understood, then we could learn to live in the present moment, which is eternal and everlasting. We would therefore be literally reborn to eternal life. What an interesting discussion that could make with some Christians that I know - and as I write this I am aware that the mind is there again, wanting me to be right, so that they are then wrong. There is no right and wrong, it is all just differing opinions. The problem begins when those differing beliefs are made 'exclusive', and when we confuse our beliefs with who we are, so that others of differing opinions are wrong. This unfortunately, is something that we all do, and I am no exception to this, I realised this when I watched myself becoming angry last night, as I watched a programme on fundamentalist Christians in Britain.
No matter how many different forms life takes, no matter how many dramas we create to fill the 'time', bodies, egos, events, situations, thoughts, emotions, desires, fears and so on, it is all fleeting and none of it has any more meaning than that which we choose to give it. Another second passes and we think another thought, dream another dream, and so it goes on, until the world is filled with dreams, we have dreamt our lives away, and nothing has been accomplished.
I won't deny that this job has been challenging in lots of different ways, but still I recognise that I did choose to be here (quite literally, as within two days of being offered it, I was also offered and turned down, interviews at least for two other jobs). Somewhere, on some level, it was as if I knew that I had to see this through. The logical part of me was screaming on my first day that this was not right, that I would not be happy here, that I was not interested in what we sell, but I knew that I had to see it through, and so I have, regardless of the challenges and the tests, and there have been lots of them - the late lunches, the heavy lifting (some of the larger items are almost as big as I am), the constant noise bombardment, being the only female (living with Coran, I am not used to being around 'typical' males).
I get round the noise bit by shutting myself in the ladies loo at regular intervals, and by sitting in silence at lunch time, I get round the lack of interest by trying to learn, and I get round the lifting bit with hot baths and massages. As for the masculine bit, I have discovered that you cannot judge a book by its cover, as my Manager, who looks every bit the stereotypical male, with his deep voice, big muscles and bald head, is actually a pussy cat in disguise. I don't think he realises this himself, but he is actually a very sensitive and deeply spiritual man. It is the fact that he does not know this that makes him so spiritual, and also his many years of management.
You cannot be a Manager in retail after all, without knowing a thing or two about human nature, and what makes people tick. If I am honest, I do not care much for what I see of the nature of our typical customer - especially the young ones, who seem more concerned with how things look and how much they cost than whether or not they actually work and do a good job. My Manager said the same thing, when we were talking last week.
Reading some more of Eckhart Tolle's wonderful book 'A New Earth', he says that "unhappiness or negativity is a disease on our planet. What pollution is on the outer level is negativity on the inner level". When I watch my mind and observe the unconscious behaviour of others, I know that he is right. It is a disease indeed, and the biggest threat facing our planet. The problems we face are spiritual, not political, for if we could really look inside and consciously examine our thoughts and our motivations, then we would see the madness that we are living in that is created by our minds, and we would bring ourselves into the present moment, making conscious efforts to change. This would be the new Genesis of Man.
All the problems that we face, famine, war, intolerance, etc, etc, are all caused by what we perceive as lack, and if you go deeper still, then you realise that ultimately the solution lies not in filling the void with unnecessary stuff, and not in worrying our lives away about what we should have and do not have, but in accepting the situation that we have and fully embracing the now. Now is after all the only moment that we have. The past is over so cannot affect us, the future is yet to happen, so the only moment is now, we should strive to grasp that moment and live life to the full, as that one moment goes on forever into infinity.
When Jesus said that those who followed him would be reborn to eternal life, this is what he meant, that if his teachings were followed and understood, then we could learn to live in the present moment, which is eternal and everlasting. We would therefore be literally reborn to eternal life. What an interesting discussion that could make with some Christians that I know - and as I write this I am aware that the mind is there again, wanting me to be right, so that they are then wrong. There is no right and wrong, it is all just differing opinions. The problem begins when those differing beliefs are made 'exclusive', and when we confuse our beliefs with who we are, so that others of differing opinions are wrong. This unfortunately, is something that we all do, and I am no exception to this, I realised this when I watched myself becoming angry last night, as I watched a programme on fundamentalist Christians in Britain.
No matter how many different forms life takes, no matter how many dramas we create to fill the 'time', bodies, egos, events, situations, thoughts, emotions, desires, fears and so on, it is all fleeting and none of it has any more meaning than that which we choose to give it. Another second passes and we think another thought, dream another dream, and so it goes on, until the world is filled with dreams, we have dreamt our lives away, and nothing has been accomplished.
Work I have then discovered, is the perfect and yet most challenging place to play this scenario out - exhausting though it sometimes is, both physically and emotionally. I did choose this path though, and so I will continue to follow it for as long as the universe deems that I need to be here. My ego can still hope though that it won't be for too long!
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