Saturday, September 29, 2007

The dark side of the light

Yesterday I had some absolutely spectacular news. If I thought that getting into the Trafford Centre in Manchester was good then this is even better. Waterstones in Piccadilly Circus have ordered some copies of my book. This is the biggest book shop in Europe! I expected it to be really difficult and to be passed from pillar to post when I called, or worse to be told that I had to go through their Head Office (as a few stores have tried to tell me). But no, I got straight through to exactly the right person. This turned out to be a Senior book seller called Nick who works on the 4th floor. I expect this must be where the MBS section is located then - I have only been to that store once and it was a while ago, so to be honest, I could not tell you which floor it is on. What matters though is that I am in there, and the beauty of the Waterstones system is that once they have ordered one and agreed to stock you, then as soon as that one copy sells, it automatically triggers an order for another one, so you do not have to keep following up to see if they need to re-order ! If only all book stores were like this.

Given the time of year though, with Halloween not that far off (it is 1st October on Monday) I felt it was high time that I spoke about exactly why it has taken me so long to get this book off the ground. I don't expect a lot of people will understand what I am about to say, while some will take it with a pinch of salt. I do not write this in order to frighten people, but rather to empower and explain where I am coming from, but also in the hope that it may actually help others who may be or may at some point in their future careers, experience the same. It is my sincere hope that nobody does have to experience this, but if I can help just one person by talking about my experiences, then it will have been worth it.

I was what what you might refer to, the subject of a form of psychic attack. For those who no not know about these things psychic attacks can be defined as the manipulation of supernatural energies and forces in order to cause harm (not necessarily physical harm you understand, but more to disrupt the recipients life). Dark and negative energetic vibrations are sent from one individual to another in order to create a disturbance in the energetic or physical bodies of the person and/or place. These are most commonly sent in the form of dark and negative thought forms and can have a dramatic effect upon the lives of those to which they are sent.

Regular readers of this blog may recall that for some I was involved in the running of an internet discussion site called Sensorium. This was actually the last in a long line of sites that I have been involved in, the others all folding one after the other, either due to server problems, or more commonly due to disputes among the moderators and administrators.

A lady whom I shall refer to as S came on board I suppose round about spring 2006, just before I started to go through the process of publication. Some of us knew her already from another site, but I was not one of these. I must admit then that alarm bells started to go off when they asked her to become a moderator, especially when as a fellow mod, in fact at that time administrator of the site, they did not first ask my opinion re this. Alarm bells started to ring even louder when I discovered that this lady and another male mod whom I shall refer to as O, were both witches. That by itself is not something I would normally be fearful of, as I do know some witches who are the kindest and loveliest people in the world, who would never misuse their power, but there was something about these two that did not feel right. I could not put my finger on what it was, it was just a feeling that all was not what it seemed. I foolishly though allowed myself to ignore these feelings, and so when a dispute broke out between ourselves and another site (it was actually more a dispute between S and this other site thinking back on it), we all allowed her to put a spell on this other site to try and protect us and put a stop to the negative vibes. Not long after that, the person who was the subject of this spell became hospitalised as I recall, with some sort of brain problem. At the time I did not put the two and two together, but thinking back on it all now, the connections become obvious. You will see for yourself later on.

That site eventually collapsed anyway, and in time four of us, myself, S, O and another lady who is not a witch (I shall call her G) started up Sensorium. The name was G's idea, and we all agreed after much discussion, that Coran would be our web master. G was in hospital herself at the time with a nasty bout of some stomach problem (can't remember the name now), so the rest of us wanted the site up and running for when she came out.

It was around this time, last autumn, that I started to do a lot more talks and book fairs in order to promote my book. One of these was for the Tranquility Awareness group in Ewell. I did an excellent talk that was very well received and was sure I would sell some books. However, despite the fact that they all remarked on the books energy, I did not manage to sell even one. I ended the evening in tears as I was so upset. A few weeks later I had a stall at the Questing Conference in London, and sold just 5 copies - three of which were to other speakers. There seemed then to be a pattern developing here and I began to wonder what was going on. It was though very confusing, since our house move seemed to be going very smoothly, and the problems only seemed to be with regard to my book. Everyone I spoke to about the book seemed to be irritated and short, as if they saw me a a nuisance and someone they did not want to be dealing with. It became clear to me that something was going on.

Just before we moved I had a reading from a friend, who confirmed that the book had indeed had a block placed on it, by someone of the darker persuasion who wanted to deliberately sabotage my work. You can imagine how I felt to be given this news. The reader did not specify who it was, but she did say that I was not to mention it on Sensorium, as they might think that I thought it was them. Actually they were the first ones to come into my head, but I did not at that point want to think in those terms. She gave detailed instructions anyway for breaking the spell, and said that it was very important that this this was done by end of the year. I followed those instructions and the energy did begin to lift and feel a lot better.

This though was not the end. As the New Year began and we slowly settled in to our new home, we began to experience problems with the site where it was being attacked by spammers. It got to the point where S wanted to appoint a US based mod who could sit up all night monitoring the site. She persuaded G to agree with her, and since O was her lover, he agreed with pretty much everything she said anyway. Both Coran and I though were against this since we knew that if determined enough the spammers would find a way in regardless. This situation then continued to simmer in the background for a while. We then began to get an influx of new members, which would have been good except for the fact that were all witches. Coran and I were privately quite concerned about this, as I think G was too, but she was manipulated by S and O into thinking that it was not a problem and all was well. All the time though they were the two of them plotting behind the scenes to get rid of Coran and I and take over the site for themselves.

When they started to make accusations against Coran, I naturally sprang to his defence and resigned. They had said some very hurtful things about him, which looking back were designed to get him to leave, with the full knowledge that I would follow. Of course they had to make it look real, and so pleaded with me to come back, but I insisted that I needed time to mull things over. Within a day they had appointed a new webmaster (whom I later found out had been lined up for the job for a while, and was also himself a witch). After a while I did ask if I could come back, as I felt it might be better to work from the inside than the out, but they said no, and then later offered me a position as a kind of liaison between mods and members - with all the duties of a mod but none of the responsibilities or more to the point a say in how the site was run. There was no way I was going to do this, and so I told them where to go and left the site for good.

I had been friends with G for years having known her via other sites that we had worked on together, and so was concerned to see that she appeared to be have been taken in by S and her cronies. They gradually began to change the site more and more until it got to the point where almost all the members were witches and the other ones began to leave because they did not like the energies anymore. It was at this point that S and O split up and O got in touch to say that S had orchestrated the whole thing as a means of forcing Coran and I out, and eventually taking over the site. I showed this to G and she confronted S, demanding an explanation, which of course S was more than ready with. G foolishly continued to believe her.

I do not know the full story because I got it from G later on, but basically S then began to make all sorts of further accusations about not just me and Coran, but also others that they did not like - threatening to put curses on them if they did not do as S wanted. G though did not believe in the power of such things and so chose to ignore it, until one day she woke up and found that they had changed the passwords to the site and locked her out. It was now Sensorium Pagan.

When she later went through her emails she found definitive proof that this lady S had been behind the problems with my book all along, and for reasons best known to her she had chosen to deliberately stop the book from being seen and therefore selling. This then is the reason why I took so long to get going, and why I had to change that cover.

I have tried to explain this in the shortest possible way that I can with the minimum amount of detail, so sorry if this is a bit of tome, but it was I feel necessary in order to explain. For some reason best known to her she must have through of me and what I have written as a threat. In some ways then I should see this as compliment, since it shows how far I must have evolved myself, spiritually at least.

So there you have it, do with the information what you will. I am no longer afraid as I know that I can handle such things and that good will always triumph. My successes in recent months I feel have proved that beyond a doubt.

As for S, shortly after taking over the site she herself was laid low with a double dose of both viral and bacterial meningitis - when you mess with other people's heads then is what you get ! Enough said ....

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