Sunday, September 23, 2007

Exorcising a few ghosts

I think I have successfuly exorcised whatever ghosts I was supposed to be exorcising this weekend regarding my ex employers. It really is though a funny old world. Just when you think you have dealt with something, it comes back to whip you on the backside. I thought actually I had dealt with the whole Mr C thing years ago actually. I thought about them both from time to time, as one does, but not with anger or resentment, just curiosity really. I even saw Mr C Senior or his wife, B once or twice, the last time when they came through my check out at Sainsbury's, which must have been at least two years ago then, since I left there in August 2005. He did seem a bit vague then come to think of it.

I had a long chat this morning though with the mother in law (shop owners Mum) and managed to put a few ghosts to bed. I said to her how strange it was seeing them all again, and did she realise that I actually used to work for the C's. She didn't, as it was a long time ago, when her daughter and Mr C Junior had just met. They kept splitting up and getting back together again, but basically I think did love each other. It was just that they were a lot younger then without the same responsbilities. It is what a lot of young couples do.

Anyway, I won't say too much since this is their personal life that I am dealing with, but they have been married now for four years and have a thirteen year old daughter. She also has a fifteen year old daughter from her first husband. They have obviously been through a lot together then in that time, as couples do. That is normal and to be expected. Apparently though Mr C Senior has been quite ill in recent years (he is certainly not the fit and active mid to late 50's gentleman that I knew and worked for all those years), so he was not ignorng me, but probably genuinely didn't realise who I was.

That put things into perspective though, since I realised that I was staying angry with an old and not very well man, and well, it was all water under the bridge, and I really did have to move on and put this behind me. Stop seeing the daugher in law as well as being married to my ex boss (or the son of), but as an intelligent and charismatic young woman who runs a very successful business and should be applauded for that at having done so well, despite health problems of her own and a broken marriage. So that is what I endeavoured to do, and as a result, I actually had a really good day and a great laugh.

I didn't make much money during the weekend - I sold one new book and one old, plus three second hand books and two boxes of cards, but that is okay. The mind of course tries to tell you otherwise, by playing all these tricks, the usual 'people are spending money on other things, so why not my book', but well, I have been there and heard it all before. I am observing it now in fact, in the background, still trying to get my attention. It is okay though, for it is what it is, and it reminds me that I still have work and a lot more clearing to do. That though is life, and no one is perfect, if I was then what would be the point in my being here.

Tomorrow then I go to the Post Office and pay in the grand sum of £35.81 that I took during the two days, plus the float of course, and then I off to an interview in Reigate. This is actually a second interview for a company that produce shipping guides (information on ports etc) and I will be working three days a week, with a job sharer, updating changes to the guide ob a typesetting system. I am one of two people who has been called in to meet the boss and the job sharer, Ruth, so that means that I have a 50 percent chance of getting the job.

I do need a job now, since despite my successes with the book, royalties do not as yet pay the bills, plus the fact that I cannot live forever on the the funds that I have left from Mum's inheritance, well not at the rate that I am going anyway. Fingers (and everything else) then crossed (might be a bit difficult to type!).

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